I don’t even know how to start writing what I want to write right now. I want to talk about the job I had for the past 2 weeks. Had. Past tense. As in I already quit. I don’t have much in life right now, but I like to think I have an ounce of self respect. And I like to think that $8.50 an hour isn’t enough to buy that from me. Especially when it’s from the place where all unhappiness springs forth. If Disneyland is the happiest place on earth, I spent the past 2 weeks working at the opposite. Wunderland.
It wasn’t the fact that this place is a nickel arcade located in a strip mall at the bleakest intersection of Salem Oregon. It wasn’t the constant noise, the flashing lights, or the decor featuring various pictures of, mostly sad, clowns (yeah, really). It wasn’t even the customers, most of whom seemed like extras from the movie Idiocracy. They were nice enough, and the extent that they were there to have fun seemed to come from a place of such desperation, that I could sympathize with them on some level and legitimately enjoy trying to make their day better.
I wrote that last paragraph 30 minutes ago and I’ve been sitting here trying to think of something more depressing than that: People of Wal-Mart, Twilight’s mega success, pizza being designated a vegetable, none of it really compares.
It was the fact that I’ve never even heard of a job where all of the employees seemed like they were seconds away from carving ‘Brooks was here’ on the rafters before kicking the chair out from underneath them. The trenches of World War I had higher morale than that. The manager, who has lived such a pathetic life that he’s created a delusional fantasy past full of military service, working for Disney, traveling the world, of which there is a 0% chance of actually being true. Who probably feels like he has no control over anything in his life, and thus, extends every ounce of it he can at work in order to feel like he’s accomplishing something. A Clownfish picked on by sharks as a kid trying to overcompensate by acting like a shark. Lacking the emotional maturity to admit when he’s wrong to the point that he’s willing to make a scene reprimanding employees in front of customers, making them visibly uncomfortable.
It’s not just a pride thing. It bothers me when I get treated like shit because it’s so unnecessary, but it bothers me even more to see others treated that way. And maybe if I was still 19 or 20 and it was my first job, I would put up with it more. But I’m a little older now and I’ve worked enough to know what my boundaries are for interpersonal behavior. It doesn’t matter if you’re my boss or the lowest rung of the ladder.
On my way to work the day that ended up being my last, I saw a guy crash his motorcycle. Well, I didn’t actually see the crash itself, but I drove up maybe 30 seconds after it happened. A couple other people were already rolling his bike off the road and helping him limp over to the sidewalk. I pulled over to see if I could call an ambulance or something, but he didn’t want me to, so I let him use my phone to call a family member to come pick him up. Then we all just stood there for a while, not saying anything, thankful that the liquid all over the road was just oil and not blood, and that the parts strewn about were from the bike and not him. It restored a bit of my faith in humanity, that people are still willing to stop and help a random stranger. It made me realize that I can’t reasonably surround myself with as much negativity as I have been. That I need something, just one positive thing to hold on to right now. And it only took 2 weeks to realize that nothing positive was going to come of this.
There’s one funny thing I observed a couple times at that job: I’ve experienced it before, a few years ago when I played games over XBox Live, but it’s something I’d forgotten about until now. That one of the funniest things in the world is Black people playing videogames. The best thing about black people playing videogames is that if you listen to them and didn’t know they were playing videogames, you’d think they were having a bunch of sex.
“WOO! GET IT, SHAWTY!”
“SHIT! I’M ON YO ASS, BABY! I’M ON YO ASS, BABY! I’M ON YO ASS, BABY!…”
“MUH! GIT HER! GIT HER! GIT HER! GIT DAT ASS!”
“AW YEE, POUND DAT NIGGA! POUND IT!”
and it goes on for hours.
People will treat you how you allow them treat you. And if you don’t draw a line somewhere, then you will be trampled over. Even if the consequences mean burning a bridge, life is way too short sacrifice your self respect, because for many of us, that is all we have. That and Black people playing videogames.
