A Serious Question

Ok you guys, I have a really serious question for you…

Is it a little bit gay that I’ve been noticing girls’ shoes lately?  Like for the past couple months, every time I see a chick, I do the requisite “once over” to check out the body and how certain clothes fit over certain par…oh damn, is noticing the outfits sort of gay too?  Like if i notice if they’re matching and stuff?  What if I compliment them on it? Is that a normal “guy” thing to do?

Um, I also occasionally watch What Not To Wear on TLC, but I determined that that’s not gay because every guest on the show is a woman and all I’m doing is watching girls become prettier.  And if I like looking at pretty girls, then it’s ok. Which I do.  Except for when they chop all their hair off and give them grandma perms, which is close to every episode.  Those fucking hair stylists suck, man.

So I guess I’m noticing hair and makeup too.

FUCK!

This can really only go two ways:  Either I am the sexy and romantic gentleman of every woman’s dreams, who does stuff like “notices things” and “listens” and “wants to go down on you for hours and never ask for a blow-J in return”.

Or it’s the other thing where this stuff makes me super gay.

If that were the case, I could totally play it up like John Ritter in Three’s Company and move in with a coupla hotties because I’d be all sexually non-threatening, right?

But then I get to bone both of them, RIGHT?!

I dunno, I’ve never actually seen that show, since it was off the air like 4 years before I was born.  But he bones Suzanne Somers and…The Black Haired Girl…every episode right?

RIGHT?!!!

Ok, so I guess this is actually a win-win situation for me.

NEVER MIND!

NO FUCKS GIVEN!

PEACE!